Baron and Baroness Locusta don’t get along very well, which is understandable, as they’re vampires and their domestic spat is doomed to last for eternity. That is until Algernon Barker arrives in their Romanian castle to finalize the Baron’s purchase of ‘Gooseflesh Abbey’, a reputedly haunted abbey in Barker’s Yorkshire hometown.
Barker, engaged to be married to Alicia Cushing, makes valiant attempts to preserve his purity for his betrothed, but just thinking about Alicia’s tremendous natural assets is enough to bring on an attack of his ‘besetting sin’. He has little chance therefore of resisting the Baroness’ wiles. Barker succumbs, and thanks to the Baroness’ supernatural subterfuge, gladly frees her of her troublesome spouse. Barker is despatched back to Yorkshire to prepare the Abbey for the Baroness’ imminent arrival, bringing the sexually free-thinking vampire contagion with him.
And it finds fertile ground in the person of Mina Farnsworth, a highly liberated and highly- sexed young lady happy with anything in pants or petticoats, regularly delighting in the prickled goosefleshed thighs of her rustic lover Polly. Polly is terrified of the Abbey, where soon enough, there’s more going on within it’s exotically refurbished walls than a ghostly monk rattling his rosary.
Polly disappears unaccountably, to return to her friend Mina one night, with her horizons considerably expanded. Horizons are expanding all over the village of Benmore, sucking in even the virtuous Alicia, an obsessive love of Mina’s. Doctor Vajda, a dedicated Hungarian doctor and vampire expert is called in, but can he stem the tide that no one particularly wants stemming? Least of all Mina, who, once she meets the Baroness Locusta is intoxicated with a new passion.
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